WildnightRcalling blog post

When you own a nightclub, you see things...

One, ladies are much more responsive to the owner of a facility, than just another working joe, drinking in said.

Next, because as the owner, they are more willing to open up verbally, you have more access to information.

70% of the ladies, I spoke with, where in relationships they claimed they did not like.
Almost all of these, made a personal choice to return to that situation they claimed not to like.
These ladies (generally the most attractive) explained how all day long men would see their physical person, and be moved to profess their undying love, do to to their physical appearance.
" I'd walk a mile on broken glass, for you"!

I'd crawl on my belly, in broken glass, in a river of rubbing alcohol, and smile, just for your kiss".

"I'd treat you like no man ever has"!

These almost never were successful.

These ladies, heard this constantly, it was not new, novel, or in demand by these, they had that in spades ...

But, I'd see the few occasions a male did attract these, was when they "where the proverbial BAD BOYS, "who said that they'd use them, like a rag doll, throw them away like trash, when they had used them for their own physical pleasures without regards to their wants and needs"...

This did not always work, but it worked way more, than the "kiss rear approach", that always when accepted, seemed to lead to the male being used somehow!

The latter never yielded the USED male result.

I really had a hard time, faking being a user, even if it meant being more successful with females.

Also, as soon as the real person I am showed through, as a nice guy, they'd loose interest,
They thrive on the abuse, I could not maintain.

So again, I felt, the bad boy act cheated them,
And myself out of a long term relationship, that I could not maintain for long because it was a act, I preformed, like a trained dog, to get my "TREAT"!

I spent countless hours/days/years, doing this,
I was always unhappy, even with my TREAT, when it was being given.

A woman who wants abuse, does not enjoy, seeing her man work 12-16 hours in a work day of extreme effort, to come home, wash, clean himself, put on his spit shined Stacy Adam's, and charcoal hand sewn banded collar suit, and cook her dinner, do her dishes, because it is enjoyable to have her watch, the actions of one's commitment, over words, never acted upon.

I needed a lady, whom could see the value in all of these, was not too messed up, not too repaired, "Goldie locks, just the right temperature porridge, just the right temperature in bed, and sitting in a chair"...

These females are rare, uncommon, and in great demand,.....

It's like being between a rock and a hard place, lots of pressure, very little other than variation of incoming pressures, nothing more....

And somehow, I am supposed to figure it all out, and hope, that being a great candidate is not enough, LUCK might be my only hope of success. All my work at growing/evolving useless, ....

What a impossible task,
Only a WARRIOR would keep fighting for success, against such impossibility.
Or a madman.

I will not YIELD, I will not FOLD, I will not Quit,
My success, or my death, one or the other!

I am a overcomer!

My body wears the scared of this.
So does my mind, my soul, but it was worth it all, even if I fail, my reward was in staying true, to the heart of my innocence, not trying to be a unselfish person, as society would have me believe, so it can sell me fantasy's , that can never bear fruit.

Yes, I have very severe dyslexia, to write is hard, to express my true thoughts and feelings makes me a target for other's, "Space is not the dark forest, LOVE is....

Thank you Universe, for making a world so hard for me, I had no choice but to succeed or die, it is the most kind loving gift, a being could hope for, from the Devine

The Nagual.