Shingles

More about me:

I haven't quite figured out who I am yet. I feel like i have made a lot of headway, but i am still barely figuring out my true self. The years I have spent repressing myself are tricky. I find that my morality and conscience are also very iffy. I like sleeping. But I get up because i have to. Not because i particularly enjoy it. I don't start to really appreciate my morning until after i've had water...before then, I barely qualify as alive. I cry. But i don't cry very often; or at all really. I mean I've had plenty of reason to...I just don't readily give in to that urge. I'm more likely to blink back the tears than let them fall. Which, had made it extremely difficult to get me to the point that i'm in tears. There's no one I'd rather be...i enjoy being me...and it's a good thing because i couldn't change it even if i wanted to...but seriously, i really love and enjoy being myself. Nothing feels worse to me than trying to be something i'm not. I'll never understand people who act totally fake just to "fit in" with the "cool people" Yuck, what's the point of that? that'd be the most depressing way to live. I like to think that if you know who you are inside and out, then you're way ahead of the game. Most crappily. I mess up. And I do feel bad about it. and i wish i could take things back, start over, etc. all those great things that are never (or so rarely) given to us. I do feel remorse at being careless. I do wish i can read the future and have little LEDs that light up whenever I'm about to commit to a bad path, or make a mistake. I don't have them. sometimes I am so blind it's...disheartening. i am far from perfect, as is any human. That's one of the things that let me accept imperfection in others but...knowing that doesn't help when I just genuinely, completely, monumentally and totally mess up.

About my ideal partner:

Just be yourself :)