Zeroexploit

More about me:

Sup ladies, I’m Steven. Are you looking for the most kick-ass ****ing guy that ever lived? If so, look no further. You ****ing found him! I'm a 23-year-old UNT student who is studying Aviation Logistics. Why? So I can be ****ing loaded! That's right! I’ll buy you every ****ing season of your favorite ABC family show and then we can cuddle up in our ****ing Snuggies and watch it on my ****ing hyoooooge TV! You see, I haven't even met you yet and I'm offering to buy you ****! I'm the most considerate person you'll ever ****ing meet. I’ve lived up north in the woods for most of my life, spending my days hunting small woodland animals and cutting down trees and all that ****. And yes, I smell like a ****ing lumberjack! I moved to Tejas so I could get rid of all my shirts and cut my jeans into daisy dukes. SUNS OUT, GUNS OUT BABAY!

A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, and I’m chivalrous as ****. If I see a closed door in front of you, I'm just like, "Oh **** I better open that ****ing door.” I whisper sweet nothings. I buy presents for no ****ing reason. **** it. I’m so ****ing awesome it will blow your socks off and guess what? I'll be there to rub your feet for you. That's right! I went to the physical therapist once and they taught me everything there is to know about rubbing **** out. Can’t you cook? ****ing FANTASTIC! I’ll eat whatever burnt roadkill you can make, I’ll just drench that **** in ranch and tell you it tastes better than ****ing Taco Bell when you’re drunk! EVERY DAMN NIGHT! You’re just going to have to Roofie me or juggle or some cool **** like that to get into my pants.

Do you like movies? I ****ing love them. We can watch the **** out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, do yoga, hike, go shopping, make out, or we can just talk about your feelings all freaking day. It's completely UP TO YOU! I’ll make any situation so ****ing awesome you’ll want to post it as your Facebook status!

Am I interested in you? Do you have 2 legs, 2 arms, no penis, and a personality? You can bet your fine ass I am! Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being your boyfriend to the next level. I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, letters of recommendation, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, pictures of Basketball trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. I am and you can find your way back to the key board from rofling all over the place send me a message!