12191963

More about me:

You will find out more about me in what I am looking for in you.

If you’re good looking I will give you the benefit of the doubt and try not to hold it against you. Men are by their nature attracted to beauty and I am no exception. However, pleasing aesthetics just catches my eye, your intellect, wit and cunning will captivate my soul. I am like the Fremen in the fictional world of Dune. I do not give my loyalty easily or quickly. However, once you have it, it is yours for the length of my life.

If you have mental or emotional issues or have been sexually assaulted, do us a favor and let me know. Not the details. You are being dishonest with me but more importantly with yourself in entering into a relationship with unaddressed wounds. I cannot be your Superman and keep rescuing you from yourself. You will just end up breaking both our hearts and in the end, you will still be broken.

If you’re overweight, it must be for good reason (medical or genetic). Real women’s weight (mass) naturally fluctuates over the month and I am looking for a real woman. You must be healthy whatever your body type. I want to be able to spend as much time as I can on this planet laughing with and loving you, okay?

What Type of a Woman Am I Looking For?

You! If have a pulse or able to cast a reflection in a mirror. Either would suffice. Both would be nice but not required. For a bonus, finding my jokes funny or at least convincingly fake laugh at them.

My Ideal Date?

Smashing watermelons with Gallagher in the CERN's Large Hadron Collider…Oh, you meant with you.

Six bullets in my back, while lying naked with you in your jealous ex-lover’s bed. But I’ll settle for something more mundane like a staring contest drinking game, while sitting at a beach-side bungalow bar -- first one that blinks takes a drink (I’ve never lost). Reading to you your favorite classic book backwards, while wine tasting at your favorite vineyard. Making you laugh so hard you have go to the doctor thinking you have a urinary track infection, because I made you pee so much – maybe we’ll skip that one. Measuring your toes and comparing their length to the national average, while shopping for a new pair of high heels for you. Reenacting your favorite scenes from The Notebook, Fifty Shades of Grey or the Story of O, while using only the monosyllabic language of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy to express our orgasmic pleasure.

Somewhere with you. Maybe just a walk on the beach, a cup of coffee or tea at a cafe or a street taco off the truck parked curbside and a conversation to get know each other. But at least now you know what's going on in the back of my mind.

My Profile

I’m a serial monogamous sapiosexual and heavily into biophilia. Hi. I’m into Wes Anderson and Charlie Kaufman films and any movie directed by Alan Smithee.

Currently, musically, I’m into country music. Boot deep.

I love biking. I own several bikes (low and high end). However, I prefer to ride a vintage Gary Fisher (cat eye) that I purchased at a thrift store for $13 and loose change. I reach back and pull him out of my trunk and ride him long and hard – Why do people giggle when I tell them that?

Yes, I own a car and I carry a bike in it -- A fringe benefit of bachelorhood.

I’m a big reader and even bigger writer. I buy books for friends and family that are right on the money. I know their interests but also enjoy buying them books that pops their information bubble and challenges their confirmation bias.

In my past life, I was a lesbian. I hope you’re okay with that.

I’m very political but not even my son (24 and in college) knows who or what I vote for. I write political and social satires -- big in Russia, Ukraine and Israel, but haven't figured out how to monetize it.

I’m an independent contractor and emotionally and financially stable – I’m what Adam Smith, author of the Invisible Hand, defined as wealthy but not rich, so I’m still part hustler and Eye of the Tiger.